BITTERSWEET MEMORIES | RILEY

Juliet was still shaking long after the all clear had been given and the citizens of Concordia had been released to their homes. The fighting hadn’t taken anywhere near as long as she believed. To her it had felt like hours, sitting on the cold white tile and waiting for something, anything, to happen. When the soldiers had filed everyone out so that they could leave, she had tried hard to not look at the bodies or the pools of blood. Even Blake seemed subdued as they made their way back to the house, keeping closer to her than normal and not pulling a the leash. Her hands and knees ached from the scrapes she forgot she had received, though it was nothing compared to the pounding in her head and heart.

Not for the first time in her life, Juliet was afraid. Even with the door securely locked and Blake by her side, she couldn’t move from her spot on the floor in the middle of the furniture. Everything was too fresh, too violent. For a daughter of Peace herself, this was a personal hell. The tears began to fall as soon as the shock began to give way, and Juliet was helpless against them.

Juliet's outfit

@david

Riley jumped off the boat as soon as he could and began running, he should try and find Masin at the Garrison bunker but he had to make sure she was all right. Why had he given her up so easily? Why had he pushed her away when his heart was hers and only hers? They had planned a family even before they were engaged or married they were so sure they wanted a family that they prepared the master bedroom for their new bundle of joy. He had to toss it away in an effort to protect her. He was foolish. His heart was pounding as he ran from the docks, he didn't care she would be home, she had to be. As soon as he got to the house his body was slick with sweat, his breathing ragged and he barely remembered to pull his keys out of his pocket to open the door, otherwise he would have broken it down. "Jules? Are you hear? Jules!" He called out looking for her as he called out. Before she had time to respond he found her on the ground and he rushed to her, pulling her to him in a tight embrace, before he pressed his lips to hers, pent up desire and love demanding a release, when he couldn't breath he broke the kiss. Wrapping his arms around her he said, "Thank the Gods you are alright. I thought I lost you. I've been a fool Jules I thought you would be safer with out me in the picture. I didn't think..."

created by rynstone

@juliet

Her mind had been playing tricks on her. At least, that's what Juliet thought when the familiar voice began calling from the outside. Any other day she would have been worried that someone had opened her door when she had supposedly locked it, but then again Riley did still have his key. She was too far gone to think about that now though. He didn't seem real until strong, familiar arms were holding her and lips she knew above all else were upon hers. Riley was late, but he had come for her.

Right now, she didn't care for the explanation as to how or why. All she knew was that she needed him. Here. Now. With her. Without even looking him in the eye, she balled her hands in his shirt and began to attempt at speaking. "Ri-Riley." She choked out, the words stuck in her throat. Her sobbing hadn't ceased. If anything, it had gotten worse. The panic on the other hand had lost it's edge as she laid against his chest, attempting to breathe and make sense of what was going on.

The pain in her voice broke his heart, he caused this, even if it was not all his fault he still caused this. He pulled her onto his lap and he held her, his lips resting on her forehead his hand running light circles over her back. Whispering to her, "I am her Jules. I'm not leaving again. I'm right here, you are safe." He loved her and he wanted nothing more that to prove it to her, but this wasn't the time their home had been attacked, even their forever home, their dream had not been immune, though from what he saw on his run from the port they had been lucky. After several moments he felt something cold and wet touch just under his ear and he jumped a little not expecting the feeling, "What the...wait you have a dog? When did you get a dog?" He said forming the first coherent thought he had that wasn't directly linked to the battle or telling her that he had never stopped loving her and that there was never another. The puppy, judging by the energy wasn't trying to bite him but wanted his attention, if he was a guard dog he wasn't very good, and then he thought about it this was their home, she never left it and he still had belongs here, perhaps the pup recognized his latent smell in the home.

created by rynstone

@juliet

Juliet leaned in closer as he spoke, finally calm enough to understand what he was saying. In the morning she would worry about whether he meant it or not, or where they stood. Now, she was trying to suppress a laugh at Blake nudging her ex-boyfriend, obviously trying to figure out where the familiar sent was coming from. "Blake." She called quietly, smiling as the puppy came to her and laid his head down on her lap. The small whine he gave in Riley's direction let her know she was right. Blake recognized a man he never met, simply because he had always lived in his former home. The shirts she still occasionally wore to bed probably didn't help either.

Noticing that her voice sounded steady enough to speak, she turned to where she could slightly see Riley's face before answering his question. "Almost two years. A few months less. He's just small for his age and his breed is hyper." Reaching over to pet the puppy softly before motioning for the dog to lay down, she let out a small sigh. "I'm surprised he let you in the house without a fight. He must have recognized your..." letting the thought drop, she lowered her gaze towards the floor, not quite sure what to say.

Almost two years, two years since he had left and almost as soon she got a dog. He took a deep breath realizing just how hard it was knowing that he had caused her loneliness. He kissed her forehead agains as she told him how surprised she was that Blake had let him in the house with out a fight. Her gaze dropped when she was about to guess Blake had recognized his scent but could he really after all these years. His hand moved to pet Blake, he smiled a little knowing he was home in that moment. Even if it were not to last he truly was home. Closing his eyes he began again, "I don't expect you to forgive me, but I am sorry. I thought I was protecting you from danger all these years. Instead I ripped the best part of me out." His lips touched hers again, this time it was soft, a single tear slipped out and he could taste the salty flavour and he broke the kiss. Instinctively his had found her stomach and he paused as he let out a shuddering breath. "I ruined it all and I understand if you want me to go, but, I just had to know you were safe at least." He knew he should move his hand, or get up but he couldn't for the first time in two years he was complete again and he didn't want it to end so soon.

created by rynstone

@juliet

Just as soon as she had found the calm inside her heart, she could feel it shattering again. In some ways, she knew exactly what he was talking about. He had left her for his reasons, some of which he had tried to give her long before that night. She had been stubborn, but in the end he had won. There were some things she just couldn't forgive that easily. "I just don't understand, Riley." She begged, pulling away from him slightly, but laying her hand over his as she did. After everything, she still couldn't bring herself to move. Gods, she had missed this. "I may not be the strongest person, or the bravest, but I loved you more than anything. I don't care, I didn't care, about the danger or the violence as long as I got to be with you." Hadn't he protected her before, at Camp? And what about now?

Shaking her head, she huddled closer to him before taking a deep breath. "I don't know where this is going and I don't know if I'll ever be able to believe or trust you completely. Tonight I don't care. I just want you to stay with me." No, she wouldn't let him in to her bed or back in to her life just yet, but she could lay here with him in this moment, let herself pretend for a moment that everything was alright. Like the wolves weren't at the door and like he wasn't going to break her heart again.

"I just don't understand, Riley." Juliet pulled away from him and placed her hand over his. Riley wondered why she wasn't moving when she was clearly upset. Juliet continued "I may not be the strongest person, or the bravest, but I loved you more than anything. I don't care, I didn't care, about the danger or the violence as long as I got to be with you." He turned away, she would bring up his failures. He wanted nothing more than to go back and tell his younger self how stupid the choice was to let her go but he knew there was no chance of that. When she moved closer to him again he thought that he would have a chance at fix this, just maybe he would get to come home to his family now that Blake was part of her life. "I don't know where this is going and I don't know if I'll ever be able to believe or trust you completely. Tonight I don't care. I just want you to stay with me." She was shaky and he was scared there was so much hope in her words and yet dread was seeping into every fiber of his being, she would move on and he would be left pining after her unable to forgive himself. He moved his arm under her legs and stood up with her in his arms, Blake jumped at his legs and he ignored the dog as he couldn't carry both. "I stay here if you want me to, but the floor isn't where we should stay. I will take you to your room." He turned and made his was to the stairs wishing that this wasn't a one time thing that he could be near her, hold her and touch her everyday. He lost that right though.

created by rynstone

@juliet

Wrapping her arms around his neck, Juliet burrowed her face in to his shoulder while he walked up the stairs. When she felt him pause at the door to their former room, she felt her pulse quicken. Not there. Anywhere but there. "The guest room down the hall. That's where I stay now." She whispered, pulling herself closer to him. In the back of her mind she knew that it couldn't be comfortable for him, the way she was holding on, but she couldn't help it.

By the time they made it down the hallway, Juliet could feel her resolve breaking already. Now that he was back, how was she supposed to let him go again? Did it really matter what had happened? She knew that she would be risking her heart, but she wasn't whole without him. No, she could exist without Riley. It was the simple fact that she didn't want to.

With Juliet in his arms he felt whole, even if they were not entering the room they shared. The room they wished to share with their child, his heart dropped when they were not going in there. It showed him just how much he had hurt her. As they entered what used to be a guest bedroom he smiled as he placed a kiss on her forehead, this room had become her haven, every inch screamed his Jules. His smile dropped, no she was not his Jules, though he desperately wanted her to see through her fear he couldn't believe that she would. "I like what you have done in here, it is so you." He set her down on the bed and stood up. Then looking back at the way they came his shoulders fell. He turned back to the woman who held his shattered heart. "Why? I mean I know I ended it, I know that but... Why didn't you stay in the master suite." he moved to the bed and knelt beside it. He feared being away from her and the loss of control. She was the yin to his yang, she soothed his bubbling anger, he needed to be close to her just for one last time.

created by rynstone

@juliet

Juliet couldn't help it anymore. Reaching her hand out towards Riley, she ran her fingers through his short hair for a moment before kneeling down beside him. "I can't explain that right now." She started, meeting his gaze as she did. "It's too soon to go there, but I promise that I will tell you someday, no matter what happens." Even if she had to write it in a letter, she would make sure that he knew. Despite everything, he deserved to know that much.

Placing one hand behind Riley's head and the other one on his chest, Juliet looked at him for the first time in forever. He was so lonely and scared that it was etched in to his features. She could almost trace identical marks on their faces, lined by worry and tears. Almost as if she hadn't thought about it, Juliet leaned forwards to kiss him softly before standing back up with her hand extended towards him, asking for him to join her on the bed beside them.

He didn't force her, when she was ready she would tell him what happened. His thoughts soon forgot all about his questions when she pressed her lips to his, she initiated the kiss. He didn't want to raise any of his hopes but he truly thought that maybe, just maybe he stood a chance, a small chance that he never thought he had before. When she broke the kiss offering her hand and asking him if he would join her on the bed he agreed, sitting on the edge he pulled her to him, he held his breath for a few moments and then let out a small shaky breath before he pulled her closer her to him capturing her lips in a deeper kiss, breaking it a few moments after his heart racing. Kicking off his shoes he said, "I will be here, though I think I should freshen up I ran here from the ports of Delphi, I'm not sure how much longer you will want to be near me." Riley stretched himself out along the bed, enjoying the feeling but missing the comfort  of their shared bed. The dream they shared and his heart lived here in this house, dare he hope with the kiss she gave him, could he risk it.

created by rynstone

@juliet

Laughing softly, Juliet stood back up and walked over to the dresser to open the bottom drawer. A few of Riley's shirts and a pair of sweat pants had made their way in to her room over time and she hadn't bothered to remove them. Hopefully he wouldn't be upset, but she doubted that would be the case. "Here. You know where the bathroom is..." She trailed off, sitting back down on the edge of the bed beside him. Looking down at her own clothes, she realized that they both were a little bit worse for the wear. Mud, dirt, small bits of blood and grass cluttered her jeans and the cardigan she had been wearing. "From the looks of it, we both may need to clean up." 

Still, she wasn't in much of a hurry to move right now. Sure, she was a bit of a girly girl, but that had never stopped her before. Her hand found his, grasping it tightly as she tried to work through her thoughts. Briefly, she noticed that Blake hadn't followed them in to the bedroom. He was a smart dog after all.

created by rynstone.

@david

Juliet left the bed and went to the dresser, she still had some of his clothes and they made their way into her sanctuary, her safe haven. Even after it all she still kept them, he smiled at the thought, then she looked at herself and mentioned she needed to get cleaned up as well. He moved so he was in front of her and as if on instinct he slowly started to remove her cardigan and went to kiss her shoulder before he pulled away quickly remembering if he stood a chance he had to be careful and not rush her. "I'm...sorry, you don't need my help. Thanks for saving some of my clothes." He stood up and moved towards the dresser picking up his sweat pants. He stopped when he saw a picture of Jules and him shortly before the camp had been attacked, they were so happy he looked almost at peace and given who his father was that was a talent. He picked it up looking at it and almost wishing he could go back to that innocent time. He smiled sadly at it while saying, "We were so carefree, you soothed my very soul. You calmed a son of Ares, we were happy. Then it all changed." Turning back to her he felt a tear slide down his face. He set the photo down on the bed as he knelt before here again. He took her hand and kissed the palm before he wrapped it in his hands. "I know it will take a while, but if you are willing I want to try this out again."

created by rynstone

@juliet

For a moment, Juliet wasn't sure what to say. Early on, she had dreamed of this moment. Now here he was and she couldn't move, much less speak. Part of her wanted to say yes, right then and there. A bigger part, the one that had lost so much, kept telling her that it was too soon. She didn't even know why he had done what he did yet. He had to have a reason, right? Maybe if she knew it would bring her troubled heart a little bit of the peace she loved so much. "I'll make you a deal." She whispered, tugging on his hand so that he would stand up. "I'm going down the hall to change and use the other shower. When I get back, we'll talk about it. I'm not saying yes, but I'm not saying no either."

Grabbing a pink tank top and a pair of black shorts from the dresser, she wordlessly made her way to the guest bedroom at the end of the hallway. Luckily, she kept a little bit of everything in both bathrooms. It wasn't often that she used the extra one, but tonight it came in handy. Besides, her's wasn't equipped with a shower and that one was. A few short minutes later, she was dressed again and ready to go back to the room. She half expected Riley to be gone again. The sound of movement in the bathroom told her otherwise.

Not quite sure what to do, Juliet pulled down the blanket from her bed and crawled in to wait on him. The blankets were warm and soft, but the last thing on her mind was sleeping. She needed to hear Riley's side of the story, preferably tonight. Some part of her whispered that she might not even want to know, but right now...if it would give him back to her, she would do almost anything.

created by rynstone.

@david