SHATTERED | RILEY AND VINCE

The sun was almost gone by the time Juliet made her way to the kitchen to finish diner. After  her conversation with Riley earlier, she had decided that a little normalcy would do them some good, especially right now. They were still getting to know each other again, and it was going to be quite the process. She was just happy that he was coming home. Luckily for her, she had most of the ingredients for one of his favorite meals already in the house and the others hadn't been hard to find. Chlorokinetics were godssends most days.

Standing in the kitchen, she began to hum softly to herself as she cooked, oblivious to the front door opening. Even Blake, who had taken up a position on the couch, didn't move whenever it opened. It was almost like they had done this every day without fail for years, like Riley had never left and they genuinely belonged together. One tiny family.

created by rynstone.

@david

It had been a long day at work what with the start of the rebuild, he was just Masin's head of security but it meant that where ever she went he did, they were on guard of another attack while they were defenceless and yet he was proud to be working for a woman with such drive and passion. The best part, however, was when he came home from work for the first time in two years he really came home. As he opened the door he wasn't greeted by a growling dog rather Blake was laying on the couch as if he had never not known this routine. Smiling he set his bag down and took off his shoes and made his way to the kitchen where his heart was, making a meal that smelled divine. He approached her and wrapped his arms around her, "I kept my promise, I came back." He kissed her shoulder before letting his hand move down to her waist and wrapping his arms around her stomach. "How was your day?" he asked as he felt her tense a little at his touch. He pulled away thinking she still didn't want him holding her. Maybe he had rushed it and he shouldn't have thought that she would want him to hold her. He moved to get a glass and fill it with some water before he leaned against the counter.

created by rynstone

@juliet

Riley's lips against her shoulder felt like heaven, up until his arms found the one spot she couldn't stand to be touched. A small part of her brain was chastising her for reacting at all, especially whenever she caught him pulling away. The much larger, more prevalent part was screaming, wanting her to tell him everything right then and there out of sheer panic. Trying to quiet them both, she looked over to Riley and smiled after taking a deep breath. It was the most fake smile she had ever felt in her entire life, but she prayed it was reassuring.

"It was long. We lost a few students, but the majority made it to the bunker uninjured. They are scared, but they'll bounce back well. We all do." She conceded, turning away to stir something on the stove before walking over to Riley and kissing him on the cheek. "What about you? How is the Magister?" Of course, Dylan had already filled her in, but maybe the small talk would distract her from the turmoil in her head. Then again, the confused look on Riley's face almost broke her heart. She had to say something, but she couldn't bring herself to tell him. Not right now, not unless he forced the issue. Placing her hand over her own heart and praying that he remembered her power only worked by touch, she attempted to calm herself down. Sure, Riley had been around enough to feel it whenever she was using it on others while he was in the room, but she wasn't doing it to him. No harm there.

"Hey." She started, walking over to put her arms around him. "I don't mind you holding me, just not like that. It's a long story, I just don't like my stomach being touched anymore. It messes with me." For someone who had demanded transparency herself last night, Juliet was keeping too many secrets. Even if it was just one.

@david

"Work was alright, there were lots of meetings, the great thing about being the head of security is that I just have to protect her I am not needed in the discussions. I was never all that interested in politics." He saw her place her own hand on her heart and he was worried, something wasn't right and he knew she was trying to avoid telling him. It was wrong and she should tell him, but why force her when he had hurt her and she had valid reasons for not telling him. When she began to use her power on herself and the fake smile appeared on her face he knew something was wrong. She wrapped her arms around him saying, "I don't mind you holding me, just not like that. It's a long story, I just don't like my stomach being touched anymore. It messes with me." He held her like that for a bit and then the smell of dinner made him ask, "It smells good, what are we going to have?" He didn't know how to react, he was getting annoyed that she was working so hard to hide what was bothering her and that fueled his own anger at himself for leaving her. He avoided asking the question as he let her go so she could look at the creation she was making and he took another sip of water. Why wouldn't she want him to touch her stomach, he hoped that once they were off the rough patch that at some point they may discuss children again but he wasn't going to rush her. He kissed her lips in a quick peck, though he knew she would feel his own anger he quickly added, "I'm not angry at you, more at myself. I know it won't be easy, and it won't be the same, but I am angry at myself for hoping it would be. I just want this to work." He kissed her forehead before pulling away to finish his water.

created by rynstone

@juliet

Removing her arms from around him, Juliet felt a more genuine smile grace her lips, even if it was a sad one. "You can't blame yourself for everything Riley. Not this time around." No. In her heart of hearts she knew that this was her fault, maybe even more so than it was his. Yes, his leaving had been the catalyst, but she could have done something. Or maybe she couldn't have. It wasn't like she had stuck around to ask questions later. "And we're having steak, as soon as this gets done." She replied, gesturing towards the pan still currently on the stove.

She could still feel Riley's anger simmering as she turned away to mess with the food. This was why she didn't want to tell him. He would never forgive her if he knew, and right now it would tear them apart. She wasn't even sure of her feelings for him anymore, not after what had happened. Sure, she loved him, but was love enough to risk bringing another life in to this world? The fact that he didn't know was the only reason why she hadn't said anything, but how long could that last?

With a shuddering breath and a shake of her head, Juliet attempted to return her thoughts to more neutral territory. "So, do you think the attack will change Masin's chances for the Chancellor election? I know she was behind in the polls, but surely this has to have changed something." Politics she could discuss, especially with Masin being his boss. She just hoped he took the distraction instead of pushing the issue, which she had a feeling he would. His frustration was growing by the minute, and it would only be a short time before he couldn't take it anymore. She deserved whatever happened next, regardless of how it ended.

Riley saw her smile and it softened his temper a bit until she spoke, "You can't blame yourself for everything Riley. Not this time around." What the hell was that supposed to mean, it was his fault. He pushed her away, he made her think he had moved on, used her. What did she mean not this time around. He was trying to keep his cool and so he took a few deep calming breaths, she was making steak a favorite of his, and yet something didn't feel right about it. It would be delicious of that he was sure but it seemed odd that she would make it when there was no doubt in his mind she was afraid he wouldn't show up tonight. When she tried to change the topic to politics he answered stiffly still trying to figure out her mood and why she was being so evasive something she had never been before, "Her chances are very good, there will be an article in the paper soon. Jules what is going on, I know I hurt you and I am trying not to press but something is just off with you right now." He then thought about the last 24 hours, when he found her on the tile he let him hold her and place a hand on her stomach but once they got to her room she stiffened when she got close. This evening again she stiffened and even told him it messed with her. Could it be she didn't actually want him here and even the thought of a child with him in any distant time frame was a bad idea? Could she have found someone else and was just trying to be nice to him, if that were true their picture wouldn't be on her dresser and his clothes wouldn't be in the dresser easily. "I think I understand now. You don't want me here, I've hurt you to much and you don't want to be reminded of the dreams we shared. If that is what you want tell me. I just want to know what's going on Jules, I love you and I always will but if you want me to go I would honor that choice."

created by rynstone

@juliet

The implications in his voice and the anger resonating from him made Juliet flinch, almost like he had physically hit her. There it was. She had no way out of telling him the truth, not without him leaving. Even then, she was almost certain that he would anyways. How could you tell a man who was that set on a family that he had almost been a father? "Ri, it's not that. You don't understand." She stammered out, allowing her power to fade away as she did. No,it would only make things worse and it couldn't calm her anymore. If anything, it was only making her more receptive to Riley's anger.

"It's my fault. Or maybe it's both. My dreams for the future are gone, Riley Or, at least the ones I used to have." She knew it didn't make sense, that she needed to explain. Gods, if she didn't get the words out right, she would lose him forever. Then again, the part of her that was irretrievably broken whispered that it would be a good thing. That she only loved the idea of him, not Riley himself. "Something happened the day you left. I tried to tell you but I didn't know how, and then something else...Gods, don't make me say the words. Please don't." She begged, barely having the forethought to turn off the stove before backing away to the end of the counter, not able to quite look Riley in the eye.

Almost out of reflex, her own hand hovered just above her stomach, not quite touching it. This was going to kill them both, and she knew it. Only the Gods knew what Riley would read in to it if he actually noticed her movement. "Please, Riley. Don't do this. We aren't ready yet. I may never be ready, but if you give me time..." Her words fell short as she felt her own anger begin to rise, slowly, but surely.

"Ri, it's not that. You don't understand." She stammered out, Jules was nervous and worried, why was she this nervous with him. He knew he had made a monumental mistake but he had made mistakes before yet she was never like this. What was going on, his anger was getting out of control and he knew he had to focus, it wasn't at her, she needed to know he wasn't angry at her. This happened at times. Then she started talking again and it was then his heart truly began to break. "It's my fault. Or maybe it's both. My dreams for the future are gone, Riley Or, at least the ones I used to have." What was she saying, she didn't want to be together, she didn't want to fight for them. Jules said that wasn't it so then what was it, they wanted a family, they wanted so many things. Suddenly he looked at her, with regards to the family he had always been the one to bring it up maybe it wasn't her dream anymore. He could live with that he couldn't live with out her though. He had barely lived these last two years he didn't know if he could go on any more with out her. "Something happened the day you left. I tried to tell you but I didn't know how, and then something else...Gods, don't make me say the words. Please don't." Jules begged,as she turned to turn off the stove before she backing away to the end of the counter, not able to quite look him in the eye. What's going on? Why is she so hesitant what happened on the day I left? Something else happened and she can't tell me, it hurts her Gods I don't want her hurt anymore. I need to do something, I have to fix this. Why did I have to do this to her. As his thoughts raged against him and his self focused anger built up he watched as her hand moved and hovered above her stomach and his eyes widened. No... gods no... please tell me I didn't do this to her. Please tell me I am not him. "Please, Riley. Don't do this. We aren't ready yet. I may never be ready, but if you give me time..." Her words fell short and he made to walk towards her his normally sure footing failed and he stumbled. His hand managing to his the hot element. The pain was deserved it was needed. He failed her, he was the cause of her pain in more ways than he thought possible, he was the asshole the person who should never get a second chance. When he removed his hand he saw the blistering and knew that it was at least second if not third degree burns. He deserved more, his face feel when he looked at her, "Please tell me. Yell and scream, call me all the names I deserve. Gods I never wanted that, you deserve so much more than me. I ruined what we had, you have no fault in this. I caused the loss of our child. I..." He dropped to his knees his Juliet, his heart, his soul had lived with this for two years on her own and though she held it back still allowed him to come back. He didn't deserve her, he should leave. He made to get up but couldn't he promised he wouldn't ever leave until she told him to. He had to keep that promise even if now he understood everything from the night before. Blake approached but seemed torn for a moment on who to go to, yet another reminder that this could have been a happy life and he ruined it, in the end he went to his mom the one he should go to and whined looking up at her.

created by rynstone

@juliet

Fine. If he wanted to know so bad, she would tell him.In the back of her mind she knew his power was out of control. She could feel the burn of it across her skin, and though she normally was able to withstand it...tonight she couldn't. Not now. Not talking about this. "If you want to know so bad that you'd be willing to risk this, then fine. You're right. I found out after you left for 'work'. I didn't even get a chance to go to the doctor before your stunt with Abby. It wasn't coffee I was drinking, it was ginger ale because a coworker told me that it would help calm my stomach. That place was the only one I knew of that would sell it, so I went." She was going too far, but the words were pouring out now. Even Blake's whining couldn't calm her.

"I don't even remember most of what happened next." She cried, throwing her hands in the air and turning away from him. "The school sent me home, I laid in bed...and then somehow I was in the hospital and Dr. Kotney was crying. Someone had come to check on me and I guess it was over before I knew what was going on. A day. I was a mother for less than a day, before I screwed up." Leaning against the wall, she looked down at Riley for the first time since she had started ranting. Of course, she should feel bad about his hand, but he deserved it. He deserved worse. They both did. "This is MY fault, because my baby should have come first. If I were a stronger woman, I'd have a son instead of a dog."

Every word she uttered crushed him more and more how could he have thought it was safer for her with out him. This is what he had caused when he pulled a stunt that has left him feeling disgusted with himself, he looked at her desperately trying to control his power that had lost control and fulled his anger and hers. He felt broken his heart and soul was damaged. He again made to stand up and go to her despite their mixed anger and his barely there control he didn't want her to think it was her fault, it wasn't her fault. Tears began to roll down his face as he stood looking at her. "You didn't fail our child, it could have happened no matter what. That doesn't excuse my behavior, I should have seen the signs, as you said last night I should have talked to you. Gods there were so many things I should have done." He closed the distance and hugged her, his burnt hand touching his other arm caused the blisters to pop and he groaned as he felt it begin to bleed. He would now have to be very careful with it but he didn't pull away until finally the pain was to much he moved to the sink and turned on the cold water and sticking his hand under it. His white shirt now stained with water and blood, his hand was shaking. Riley wanted to hold her he needed to, but any time he moved his hand from the water now he could barely focus. He took the time to breath, he had to turn off his power he had to control that at the very least. Several minutes passed and he finally found he wasn't feeling her anger. He could see it but he didn't feel it fueling his, even then his anger was receding. Guilt replaced it, it was his fault and he shouldn't stay and have her remember that. Finally he pulled his hand out of the water, it began to shake and burn as the air touched the burning flesh, he turned to look at her and said, "I failed as a father and partner. I say I love you, and yet I let you deal with that alone. I failed, you didn't."

created by rynstone

@juliet

Riley's arms around her only made things worse. Though her anger was receding, her resolve was hardening. She didn't need him in her life. Some day she would adopt one of those cute little ones that were taken away from the mommies and daddies who loved them, make them hers. Right now though, she needed to figure out what to do with the man who was crying and bleeding all over her kitchen. "Yes, yes you did." She finally said, a cool voice that almost didn't sound like her own slipping out. "But I failed too. That was my baby, the one that I prayed for and hoped for every day. Not just for your sake, but for mine as well. I loved you. I wanted a family with you. I wanted to share that bedroom with my sons and daughters, with you by my side. We were supposed to grow old together in this house."

Grabbing a key that hung from a hook in the kitchen, she threw it at him before grabbing her cardigan off of the couch. "If you want that life so bad, you find it on your own. You stay this time, because I'm leaving." The instant the words left her mouth, she found herself regretting them. This was their second chance, and she was blowing it. Before her mind could change, she grabbed the handle to the back door and threw it open. With long, quick steps, she made her way in to the night and out of the houses view, tears beginning to pour down her face.

He watched as she left and he wanted to follow, how he wanted to follow her but she was right. He went to the first aid cabinet and saw that Jules had still managed to keep it well stocked he saw the burn pads were still there and opened one up and took off the backing and placed it over the burnt area and felt the cooling sensation almost immediately he then took some gauze and wrapped it around his hand to keep the pad in place while he turned of the water. He went downstairs to their shared office and opened his desk there he found his small stash of really nice scotch. He closed the drawer and walked upstairs taking in the home that he had shared and he even imagined the sound of little feet and laughter coming from all the other rooms, he pulled out the cork when he was in the kitchen and took a large swig, the burning sensation reminding him that he was still there. He walked into the living room and the dining room imagining all the family events and dinners they could have shared. Another swig from the bottle, and he walked back to the kitchen seeing the key, could it really be the key to their old master suite. Taking another drink he realized there was no point in wondering when he could simply go and check. Grabbing the key with his gauze wrapped hand he made his way upstairs and saw Jules new master he sat on the bed and realized that this was where she had gone to be free of memories. As many as she could be free of at least. He heard some whining and turned to see Blake in the doorway, "Your mom will be home soon buddy, she is mad at me and I get it. I will be gone soon if that is what she wants but..." With another large burning gulp of the amber liquid he made his way to his master bedroom, the only one he remembered really, Blake trailed behind him. Riley wasn't sure if he could do it, could he really open the door and risk setting off more memories for her? Another sip and he knew it wasn't just Jules who was hurting, though she had been hurting since the beginning he had to see their room. The one they shared many amazing nights together entwined and simply talking. His hand shook as he place the key in the lock and opened the door, as he did so he opened the door and nearly collapsed. It was just the same as he remembered it, he approached the cribbed and fell to his knees, everything was over. He didn't stand a chance now. He sat against the wall slowly rocking the crib as he continued to drink, after about twenty minutes the bottle was empty and Blake made his way over to him laying his head in Riley's lap.

created by rynstone

@juliet

Vince was out for a fun when he saw a woman not much younger than him run passed him and it looked as if she was crying he stopped and turned in her direction and called out, "Miss are you alright?" He realized she might freak out if he approached to quickly and so he stayed close enough to hear her and yet had enough distance so that if she wished him to leave he could. It was then he felt the pull in his chest and he groaned a little. He just happened to come across a young woman who was fiercely fighting her heart, thankfully he was full rested so that he could fight the urge to just tell her to go to her partner he knew that she could talk it out if she wished to.

created by rynstone

@juliet

An unfamiliar voice stopped Juliet in her tracks, causing her to turn around. Gods, of course someone would find her when she looked like this. Her heart was still pounding and her eyes were still shedding tears of grief and loss. She really had hoped things would work out with Riley, though now she couldn't see a life with him. If he had only waited until they were stronger, maybe they would have made it.

"Thank you, sir. There's no need to worry. Just a bit of a hard night." She finally replied, moving towards the stranger. Sure, this wasn't the safest time to be doing things like that, but who could hurt her now? No, there wasn't a pain known to this world worse than what she was going through. Of that she was certain. Her soulmate? Gone. Her child? Gone. Her future? She didn't want to think about a future without Riley any more than she wanted to think of one with him.

Vince looked at the young woman and sighed, he could see the pain in her heart and had a feeling his father probably had something to do with this, well if not his father than his grandmother. Why did he always feel like he had to clean up their messes, just once he wanted to feel like he could find someone and have that connection feel refreshing rather than draining. This young woman though was deeply troubled, she was fighting her heart in so many ways, he could feel it he just didn't know how to approach the topic as most times the women or men were shouting their displeasure she was keeping herself composed. Sighing he looked at her and said "You are having an issue with the heart aren't you. I'm not just saying this because you look like you have been crying or that you forgot a coat on a rather chilli night on the island but... umm... I can sense the war you are feeling inside. If you want you can talk to me and I can help, believe me it will be better for the both of us."